Whenever fall comes around, there is this sense of uncertainty that creeps into my mind. I’m not sure when I began to feel this way but all I know is ever since then, whenever the weather starts cooling down and I feel it through the cool, crisp breeze, I just get this sense of the unknown lingering in me.
We recently had a typhoon come by the area. The aftermath of an intense night of strong winds and a downpour of rain was this fall-like breeze that has been blowing into my apartment throughout the day. It feels great and yet I am reminded of the feelings that I associate with it. When I was young, I always related it to the beginning of the school year. You didn’t know how the year was going to play out, certain friends would be seen less and replaced by entirely new people and meeting new teachers without having a clue on how the rest of the days were going to play out. As I grew older though, I think about other things. Yet the feelings of the ambiguity are ever the same.
I wonder why that is? It feels like a bittersweet thing for some odd reason. It doesn’t feel bad though. As much as I don’t like being thrown into the unknown future, I prefer it over knowing exactly what is going to happen in my life. That’s boring. I suppose this is a good thing to think about though. After all, I’m looking towards the future and not the past. These are just one of many silly thoughts lingering in my mind as I stand outside my balcony, feeling the refreshing air that reminds me autumn is just around the corner.
Just a random thought.